I am losing my hair. Once it was full and magnificent and now… not so much. My father has a full head of hair, salted and ever so slightly peppered. My mother has thick fabulous hair that frames her face and makes swishy sounds when she turns suddenly at unexpected noises. Like an air rifle [...]
Archive for the 'Dispatches from another world' Category
Awkward ‘Word’ to Your Mother
Published by June 17th, 2009 in Dispatches from another world. 1 Comment
So, I have to admit it. I’ve been lusting after an Amazon Kindle ever since I heard about them, and now that Amazon have released a 2.0 of the device, I want one twice as more. Don’t get me wrong, I love analogue reading. There’s something satisfying about holding a real book in your hands [...]
Okay, quick question before we begin: have you ever heard of Stephen Fry? If you answered, "Yes, Mister Midnight!", then your name will be crossed off the list of people due to be sent to the ‘Voodoologic Re-education Centres’ [1] we here at the High Command intend to establish, once we have been popularly elected [...]
I, for one, welcome myself as your new Alien Overlord
Published by January 26th, 2009 in Dispatches from another world. 2 CommentsWeekly World News, a publication that does for truth in journalism what FOX News has done for, well, truth in journalism, has a timely and useful article on how to tell if one of your co-workers is really an alien. No, not the type of alien that might have snuck across a border from another [...]
Case File 0001: Rosenberg, J
Published by January 24th, 2009 in Dispatches from another world. 2 CommentsLurking somewhere beneath the mouldering edifice that is Voodoologic Headquarters can be found our often-controversial-but-always-interesting Behavioural Sciences Division. It is within these heavily sound-proofed basement walls that the Voodoologic Team conducts much of its human experimentation research into the challenging question of exactly why the hell do people behave the way they do? We are, [...]
Short conversation with a coworker
Published by January 22nd, 2009 in Dispatches from another world. 1 CommentMurray @ Midnight (getting off the phone): “You know something? I’ve never met a person called Murray that I like.” David W (after a short pause): “I have, but you wouldn’t know him.” Murray @ Midnight (after a longer pause): “Wow. Why do you have to be such a hater?”
Radical new plan to boost Navy recruitment?
Published by January 14th, 2009 in Dispatches from another world. 3 CommentsThe last thing you want to hear about someone who has A Very Serious Job is that he or she doesn’t know how to let his or her hair down during a candid interview with a men’s magazine. At Voodoologic, we’d like to introduce you to Australian Navy Commander, Tom Phillips, who impressed just about [...]
Newsflasher: Illuminated Dan Hitched
Published by December 15th, 2008 in Dispatches from another world. 0 CommentsConsider yourself news-flashed! Some may not beaware but recently Illuminated Dan, a lovely English chap, a sensational lighting designer, inspired inventor, robust Voodoo caption champion, and renowned electronics tinkerer has married his Australian sweetheart… at last. Darren Satruday was very sad and dissappointed in himself for not better organizing his flights from Hong Kong and [...]
Sound Of Voodoo