We always hear”the rules”  from the female side. Usually after said rules have been broken.

Well as we do, we’ve been emailed a list of men inspired rules that have passed from email account to email account, waiting for someone brave enough to publish.

No one has (well they probably have but we couldn’t find it on our google search… ok so we didn’t get past the first page but that’s SEO in action isn’t it?) so we kinda figured we’d give it a burl… plus it means that today the Saturday can tick a post submission that kinda amuses and entertains without any effort other than a copy and paste. Yay! So here they are….

These are the Man rules!

• Men are NOT mind readers.
• Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.. we need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
• Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. (Except for MIdnight who just doesn’t get the sports watching thing… which kinda disturbs me on one level… the dusty barely used one).
• Crying is blackmail.
• Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
• Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
• Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
• If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us…
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
• You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
• Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials…
• Christopher Columbus or Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
• ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
• If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
• If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
• If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine..Really
• Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTBALL or motor sports.
• You have enough clothes.
• You have too many shoes.
• I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Ladies…. please re-read. And then go make dinner before finishing the washing… chaaa!

My future post will be on the perils of modern dating, regrets of failed relationships, why I am just so very very lonely, and what are women really all about with all these lists and expectations.