There was a guy at the train station yesterday, who was wearing a t-shirt that said, “Free Hugs”.
I thought to myself, I could use a free hug. Who couldn’t use a free hug? Free hugs, as far as I’m concerned, are good things.
So I said to him, “I’d like a hug,” just to see where the conversation would go. It didn’t go far. He just gave me a look, and sort of pretended he needed to be standing somewhere else. Like, “Oh, that’s right, I was supposed to be standing at the other end of the platform, where the freak-per-square-metre rating is slightly lower.”
It occurred to me that he thought I wanted him to give me the hug. I thought about following him to clear this misunderstanding up, but in my experience there’s a fine line between being helpful and having to explain yourself to the security guards again.
If he couldn’t stand the heat, he shouldn’t have been wearing the t-shirt in the kitchen.
Novelty t-shirts can be dangerous and should be banned, large scary looking men asking for a ‘cuddle’ is just one of the many pitfalls…I shall repost this to thedangersofwearingnoveltytshirts.org
Sandie said:
Exactly!
Actually, I should probably mention that my awkward experience with Free Hugs Guy had a lot more to do with this ongoing fascination I have with the way people behave when you interact with them about the things they have on their t-shirts, than it did in expecting a free hug (however, I still maintain that hugs are good!).
I don’t know why, but it surprises the hell out of me that most people see the messages or images on their t-shirts as one-way communications — because it’s on a t-shirt, for some reason it’s awkward of you if you discuss it with them.
The best example I can give of how odd I think this is happened on a train as well. One day I was sitting across from a guy on a peak-hour afternoon train, heading home from work. After a few minutes I realised the guy was wearing a t-shirt that had a picture on it of the international symbols for males and females (similar to these) performing a sex act. This is on a crowded train with kids and elderly people on it, and it struck me how bizarre it was that I probably wasn’t the only person who noticed it, probably wasn’t the only person who thought it fell somewhere between mildly lame to moderately offensive, depending on your outlook, and yet I was certain that no-one felt entitled to communicate anything at all back to the guy about it.
So, just to see what would happen, I sat forward and said, “Oh, wait! Wait! I see! I get it! They’re having sex! It’s the symbols from the toilet doors, but they’re having sex! It’s pretty obvious when you look at it that that’s what they’re doing, having sex! Okay! But wait, is that funny?! If the symbols from the toilet doors are having sex, is that funny?! Is that why you wore it?! Because you were thinking it’s funny?! I’m not saying it’s not funny, but is that why you wore it?! Because you thought it was funny to wear that on a crowded train?! With kids around?! Wow, it would be really interesting if you thought that was funny!” And so on.
I have no idea what I was expecting out of all of this — maybe I was going to arrive home with a few less teeth than I had when I left that morning — but what I got was an expression of revulsion from the guy himself, and a few smirks from other passengers when he grabbed his bag and stomped off to another carriage.
Afterwards, I was struck by how strongly I felt that I’d broken some unwritten law of social etiquette, that I really had done something horribly awkward, but I couldn’t figure out why. When I actually thought it out, I couldn’t see where I had agreed at any point to be obligated to silently accept this guy’s t-shirt, regardless of what it said or depicted. In fact, I wasn’t sure why he wasn’t actively expecting people to have a point of view about it.
Since then, I’ve made a point of every now and then trying to pick up a conversation with one person or another about what they have on their t-shirts. Sure, the vast majority of them have reacted like I was possibly an escaped lunatic, but a couple of times I’ve had some interesting conversations with people as a result.
Obviously, Free Hugs Guy wasn’t one of them…
Murray @ Midnight
Stark Raving said:
Listen Stark Raving, I think you should count your lucky stars that we let you back into the country at all, after you recently defected to New Zealand.
The large scary looking men who will be knocking on your door at 3 in the morning sometime soon will not be looking for a cuddle.
Murray @ Midnight