Press Release: “The Twacknostic Twacks Take Round 5, Other Teams Not As Good.”

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When the full-time whistle blew, everyone agreed that they’d witnessed a game of footy that would go down in the history books [1]. Grizzled frontline forwards were battle-wearied, sure-footed wingers were numb with fatigue, and up in the nose-bleed seats in the stands noses were bleeding, but only because of a 3rd quarter punchup after a controversial penalty was awarded against the home team.

“It was nothing short of amazing,” Murray @ Midnight, manager and coach of the new team to beat, The Twacknostic Twacks, was quoted as saying. “We went into this round as very much the underdogs, but the management and coaching staff of the team were quietly confident that our training and player acquisition strategies were about to bear fruit.”

And what fruit they bore! From being considered rank outsiders in the opening rounds of the season, The Twacks have steadily improved their game, with management making a series of canny and sometimes surprising trades, many of which have begun paying dividends on the field.

Even so, The Twacks’ Round 5 performance has caught many experienced pundits with their pants down [2].

“Didn’t see it coming,” announced Darren Saturday, manager of the in-form Cavalier Qs at a press conference after the Qs’ own Round 5 win against The Johnsons. “The Qs are currently comfortably placed in the Top 8, but I gotta admit we don’t have a strategy to deal with The Twacks if they heat up at this point. This could change the nature of the game itself, because frankly we didn’t think The Twacks had actually ever played a game of Rugby League before. Women’s Hockey, maybe, sure. Now it looks like those freaky little mothers actually know how to play.”

“Round 6 is going to be a defining moment for The Twacks,” predicted Murray @ Midnight. “We’re going up against the BBs, the number 2 team in the league. I’d be looking for a stunning upset, because if we lose I’m going to throw a 3 hour tantrum and then hold my breath until I pass out.”

“They built a champion team,” acknowledged Darren Saturday during a phonecall earlier today. “While it looks like we’ve been wasting our time building a team of champions. Apparently that’s a bad thing even if you consistently go on winning game after game after game after game after game. I have no idea why.”

Footnotes:

1. If you’re wondering what any of this about, several Voodoologic regulars, including yours truly, are playing in the Courier Mail NRL Fantasy League. You can see a post of me bitching about the whole thing over on the Voodoologic forum.
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2. And some of which were also caught holding suspicious looking vegetables in sleazy motel rooms with a half-used jar of lubricant on the nightstand, and a surprised look on their faces when the camera crew kicked their way through the door.
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