The Boss say’s ‘jump!’ all the bloody time.
It’s getting really annoying and breaking my train of thought.
Dear Midnight - how can I ‘dispose’ of him without anybody ever finding out and on the off chance that they did it - implicate Graham two cubicles down? Please advise, Saturday Jumper.
While sitting in my cubicle one dull wednesday morning, I came across a similar quandry as my boss demanded I increase quality, reduce costs and do it faster. With a degree in biochemistry, a diploma in pyrotechnics and a passing interest in taxidermy I put my thinking cap on and came upon a plan. Over the course of the next three weeks I secretly weened the office to decaffinated coffee, then one particularly bad tuesday I replaced the beans with grade AAA super-extra-strength expresso beans, called the boss and told him Tery from accounts was heamoraging financial data to a rival company and quietly informed the head of HR the boss was going to give Terry his job.
One week on from the “incident” as it’s now known, the head of HR is on a “sabatical” and I am the proud owner of a 4/17ths scale stuffed Terry/Boss hybrid.
Does this help?
Illuminated Dan,
Out here in the swamp lands we often sit around our communal campfire and sing songs about “The Incident”.
“What A Complete Bastard,” the most popular of these songs is titled, and it is usually sung in close four part harmony to the sound of someone kicking the hell out of a badly dented Krups Coffee Machine (funny, apparently the Krups slogan is “Beyond reason”, which seems bizarrely appropriate). This is usually followed by a rousing rendition of “I’m Sorry I Broke The Coffee Machine, Fellas, I Promise I Won’t Do It Again”, which in itself is usually rendered to the sound of four burly men performing a traditional dance called “The Aggravated Assault”.
Welcome to Voodoologic, Dan, I hope you’ll stick around and maybe even poke your nose over into the The Forum, cos we sure could use your help.
Murray @ Midnight