Just a quick note to let everyone know that, contrary to popular rumour, Darren Saturday is not currently tied up in the Voodoologic basement, where he also isn’t undergoing a radical course of deprogramming to cure him of the belief that he spent significant chunks of his childhood hiding at the back of a closet with a group of other kids, in a fanciful land called Narnia [1].
He is, instead, currently on a quest somewhere in the United States, where I am certain he is battling dragons, evil wizards, drunken taxi drivers and The Wicked Accomodation Booking Staff Of The Disney Chain Of Hotels.
We are expecting his return to Voodoologic Central to suspiciously coincide with the arrival of Christmas, so I fully expect him to kick his way through my front door sometime after midnight on Christmas Eve, to rough me awake and demand why I haven’t gotten around to installing a chimney yet [2].
And so, I can’t think of a better reason to wish everyone who’s still bothering to check this site for posts (Hi Mum! See you for Christmas dinner!) a very happy and safe festive season!
“Ho Ho Ho!”
Murray @ Midnight
| 1. | I for one am personally sick. to. death. of listening to him prattle on about how “it was snowing over there, and there was this talking lion, and there were these Elves, and they made me king, because, wow, apparently it never occured to them that a snot-nosed kid from another dimension maybe wasn’t terribly qualified to run a kingdom, and I wrote all about it in this book, which I’m calling ‘The Lion, The Witch, And The Freaky Weird Place At The Back Of Uncle Otto’s Suspiciously Large Closet, Where We Had To Imprison A Lot Of Elves Because They Started Bitching About The Allegedly Discriminatory ‘Humans-Only’ Hiring Regulations I Introduced As Soon As I Became King’.” |
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| 2. | To which I intend to reply by pointing out that I’ve been housing his freakin’ reindeer for almost 12 months now and I’ll put a bloody chimney in once I figure out what the hell I’m supposed to be doing with all the reindeer droppings! |
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Are you sure the Mr Saturday isn’t in the basement. Remember that I have seen the Voodoologic basement. “Just pop down to the basement and get me a Pepsi Max ™” you said, and I was lost down there for three and a half weeks and all I had to suvive on was some half eaten sushi (1) and an old bottle of Diet Coke ™. It’s a very dark and scary space that seems to make some sort of odd sense. I’m not even sure that there was Papsi Max ™ down there at all.
(1) and I don’t like sushi as it’s m,ade from wales (2)
(2) I hope that you don’t mind me borrowing the footnote thing (3)
(3) As the foornote thing seems to be your thing (4)
(4) And yours are somewhat more amusing than mine and have better grammer and spelling.
Dear Stark Raving Duncan,
For legal reasons I’m not in a position to confirm or deny my earlier denial of any confirmation that Darren Saturday is currently locked in the Voodoologic basement.
Any muffled cries for help you may (or, aha ahahaha, may not) hear from the vicinity of the basement are currently being explained in one of the following 3 perfectly reasonable ways:
heit goes again. Aha ahahaha. Amazing.”So, as you can see, we are reasonably certain that Grand Master Saturday is not tied up in the basement, and we would appreciate you passing this information onto our defense attorney.
Also, how the hell did you get out of the basement? I was sending Arch Bishop Saturday down to keep you company! [1]
Nice use of footnotes, by the way. Like it.
Murray @ Midnight