Christmas Day is almost here, and the team at Voodoo Logic [1] are looking ahead to the joys that await families across the world, as they celebrate the one day of the year when peace and harmony and good-will to all men [2] are as sadly absent as they appear to be on every other day of the year.

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Christmas. It evokes so many heart-warming images.

Wrapping paper strewn across every available surface - the disturbing remnants of hungrily eviscerated presents. Toys that are no longer toys because they were broken 9-and-a-half minutes after they were taken out of the box. Other toys that have yet to become toys because no-one remembered to buy extra batteries. And strange objects that came from packages with ’some assembly required’ clearly labelled on the box that have been assembled, disassembled, sworn at, kicked, reassembled, sworn at some more, savagely attacked with the claw end of a hammer, and yet still look nothing like the picture in the instructions.

Christmas. It’s the day when families that have managed to get along for 364 days of the preceding year are suddenly no longer speaking to each other because of What Uncle Barry Said To Our Janice Who Honestly Didn’t Mean What She Implied About Little Jimmy And His Collection Of Barbie Dolls And Of Course It Isn’t Abnormal For A 9 Year Old To Burn The Faces Off Dolls And Say Things Like ‘The Little Sluts Got What They Deserved’.

Christmas. It’s that day we spend in humble remembrance of the simple, compassionate teachings of a man who was born in a barn, and who spent the rest of his life trying to tell people that it’s, you know, a lot more important to give than it is to receive, and oh, what the hey, nice iPod man, that should go amazingly well with the XBox and the new set of golf clubs.

Christmas. It’s a special day full of special things.

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But Christmas isn’t just about Christmas Day.

Christmas is about waking up at 3 in the morning sometime in January and trying not to scream your lungs out about Bing Crosby.

Christmas is pausing in the toy aisle of SuperFreakingAwsome-MegaMart during the after-Christmas sales and wondering why the Purple-Winged Vindictive Ninja Dude (With Optional Bowel Imploder) cost an arm, a leg and several toes before Christmas, but is now on sale for only $9.99, just two days later.

Christmas is realizing the decorations are going up in the stores earlier and earlier every year, and that, Sweet Jesus, there are only 132 shopping days left.

And Christmas is trying to fry the retinas of your neighbours with 8000 bulbs because they won the Neighbourhood Christmas Lights Award 4 years running, and then dreading the next electricity bill because, aha ahahaha, you blew all your money on the lights.

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Yes, Christmas is a special time of year, and the team at Voodoo Logic [3] would like to wish one and all a sane and festive holiday season.