The Grape loves the sound of words that work the mouth and if spoken loudly enough, long enough, and with much gusto will draw quite a violent reaction from the poor unfortunate person sitting next to you.
Best done in public spaces like a cafe or a bus so the police report will have plenty of wintesses.
Words that the Grape likes at the moment are:
schmoo - pronounced “sssssssshhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmooooooooo” with chin outstretched and hands grappling either side of your seat and bottom slightly raised. Best if wearing a hat or cap but this is optional and really for my own peverse reasons really.
unk unk - pronounced “unk unk (pause) unk unk (pause) unk unk” this should be repeated endlessly until either your throat starts to constrict or the person you are direcitng it at either hits you or flees. If the person elects to flee it is permissable to follow them for at least 10 to 20m while flapping both your arms outright and bobbing one’s head rapidly back and forth. After 10-20m they’ve earnt their freedom and it’s sporting to let them go with a big wave and one high pitched “unk”. Please note that a single “unk” here only, as you don’t wnat to be seen to be overduing it or unecessarily annoying to others.
The phrase that the Grape really hates at the moment is the American saying “Back in the day” ….what the hell are they talking about? What day? Man!
The Holy Grape finds Oprah aggravating pretty much all the time. May your week be purple and plump.
Well the Oprah Winfrey Show is exactly that, a show about Oprah Winfrey, regardless of who her guest for the day is. It seems that whoever the guest da jour is, their primary reason for appearing is to invoke stories or anecdotes that the show’s host can carefully manipulate into being about her. Hmmm, lost a leg in the war? I’m sure Oprah has too. Helped overthrow a South American dictator with a rubber band and a cheese grater? Yep she’s even done that. It seems there is nothing this woman hasn’t done, including fleece TV executives for years.
Did you know she had her right arm surgically removed and replaced in the backward position so she can pat herself on the back whenever she wants to? I didn’t think so, I read it on Wikipedia.